Monday, September 14, 2009

Esperando

-'esperando' is Spanish for waiting, but it also means hoping-

Acrylic on canvas, 10 by 12 inches.


I always go alone (to check-ups) now, I bike there. Biking has become like a ritual to me. In the waiting room I tend to go over what happened and where I am now...That waiting part is the worst, I'm uncomfortable because of the memories, the reruns of the conversations I had, the way I felt while going to exams, the way I felt when dxd, how I had to still be alert and ask questions while having cancer... While waiting I'm also looking at other patients waiting there and thinking about why they're there. Last time I went, the waiting aisle was filled with pregnant women in variable degrees of discomfort-it put a smile on my face… For me, it's not the exam itself, I tend to feel relatively ok and actually I'm not all that worried, I always 'feel' myself as well-I guess I'm still thinking they 'got' it all out, or off + they never actually felt any lumps, I had felt something myself...-I'm just upset and absent (to the concrete world), I guess these are the right words, upset about everything that surrounds the doctor's visit...



6 comments:

Bill Evertson said...

Your painting conveys that alone feeling very well. From it I get that detachment and absent feeling. Nice work; and that you express and work through this on canvas to share.

van Dyck said...

I too have wondered about other patients while waiting in the doctors office. Contemplating on how they arrived at their illness. Was it due to smoking, poor eating habits or just luck of the draw that they ended up in the same room I am sitting in.

No one talks to each other, as is the other is invisible, we continue flipping through the worn magazines.

Your painting is beautiful and I especially like the carefully selected title.

Thank you for sharing.
Egmont

ria said...

Thx Bill, I'm so glad it works! :) Thx Egmont, the waiting area at the thyroid cancer consultation (this is about the breast cancer consultation) is organized in a way that we all wait, sitting side by side in a narrow aisle facing the doors to the examination-cubicles... Ugh, for me that set-up adds to the uneasiness... not the best design.

Momo Luna said...

Het schilderij geeft heel goed het gevoel weer wat je beschrijft. Ook al lijkt de vrouw klein en alleen, door haar houding straalt ze ook een soort van kracht uit. Of berusting. Ook omdat de kleuren van de vrouw warmer zijn dan het koele blauw van de wachtkamer. En dan dat ene intrigerende knalrode stoeltje. Prachtig schilderij, mooie kleuren en inderdaad de titel is perfect.

Liefs Monica

ria said...

Dank je wel, Monica, ik ben blij dat het goed het gevoel weergeeft wat ik wou... Ik heb inderdaad een contrast willen zetten tussen de wachtkamer die voor mij vaak iets kils had/heeft en de figuur, alsof in haar het "warme" leven zit gevat. En ja, dat ene stoeltje he?!

LuAnn T. Palazzo – The Design Diva, NY said...

I really feel the isolation, Ria. This canvas is deep and lovely like you. xxo