Monday, January 18, 2010

La Mirada #9-Scars


The evening before my thyroidectomy, two doctors came in to explain the risks of that surgery: I could lose some mobility in my left shoulder, because of possible nerve damage and a nerve to my vocal cords could get injured so as to leave me hoarse for life. I could lose my parathyroids so that I might need to take calcium supplements. They also said the incision would be made in a skin fold. Luckily everything went well and I lost only one parathyroid. I gained a skin fold though ;) But that's okay, I love my thyroidectomy scar, it marks the spot where life has touched me. I never cover it in summer. I don't like it when people cautiously say: "oh, that scar is hardly visible, you shouldn't be self conscious about that."
I remember when I was unpacked from my bandages after my left mastectomy, my oncologist and his assistant stood at my bedside, looking a bit concerned about what my reaction was about to be. I was happy to lose the breast, and with it the cancer. So I wasn't focused on the empty spot. I uttered: "oh, that's a lovely scar!" The assistant threw a look at my oncologist, who felt it was necessary to confirm, "yes, it is a beautiful scar." Totally unnecessary, but he couldn't know I was comparing it to my thyroidectomy scar right after they took out the sutures. Ugh-it was folded outwards with stitches like a seamen in a dress and I only needed two bolts at either side to look like Frankenstein. Then, when I looked at that in the bathroom mirror-alone-I sobbed even though I knew that it would heal beautifully... My mastectomy scars are stubbornly staying a bit red, but I like them too. Touched by life, times 2!

5 comments:

Bill Evertson said...

Beautiful scars is a wonderful concept. I've never undergone anything as radical as you Ria just an appedectomy that looks like it was stitched with twine. although it kind of matches my wifes knee surgery. Hers looks a bit like she might have played a bad game of American football. We'll look a little differently now ;-)

yvette said...

I'm touched!
Came here via Momo luna
yvette

Momo Luna said...

Hi Ria, very moving post, but it also makes me smile. And i like the strong image of you, vastberaden maar ik zie ook het verdriet(in je oog). Het is weliswaar sterk zwartwit foto toch zie ik die expressie.
Ik heb een heel groot litteken op mijn buik vanwege een keizersnede, maar het deert me niet, ik ben er trots op want het bracht leven.

Ik ben blij dat de operatie goed ging....

Liefs, Monica

ria said...

lol@Bill!
Hello Yvette, thanks for dropping by then&leaving me a note! :)
Hoi Monica, ik kan me voorstellen dat je daar trots op bent! Bedankt voor je feedback, denk je aan de nieuwe blog? Niet aarzelen hoor! :)

Dean Grey said...

Ria!

You found a way to turn something tragic into something lovely!

-Dean